[ For the past twenty years, the holiday season has been a difficult one for La'an. Most holidays set during this time are focused around the closeness of family and friends, the value of which seems to be a universal truth across species and cultures. Losing her family left a deep wound within her, and while Una became the closest thing she had, there was still an aching hollowness in her heart. But without her knowledge or permission, the crew of the Enterprise have slowly come to fill that hollow space, each and every one of them healing a little piece of her so that, finally, she is able to stand with them in a time of celebration and genuinely smile. She's even laughed a few times, most recently at Erica serenading their executive officer with a Gilbert and Sullivan tune while imbibing her third cocktail.
She's happy. Despite all the pain she's endured in her life, La'an Noonien-Singh can honestly say that she's happy. If that's not a miracle, she's not sure what is.
Of course, she could be happier. Her grief over James is still fresh enough to leave her in tears at night when she takes out the diver's watch to hold and remember, and her conversation with Jim where she'd offered her heart and had it handed back to her... Well, it didn't help matters. She doesn't regret doing it, though. She wants to be someone who takes chances and makes connections, and that was her first step toward becoming that person.
Standing off to the side of the room, she takes in the sight before her, drinking in each joy-filled face illuminated by the soft light of the cloud-like chandelier. This might be the most beautiful sight she's ever seen. Her crew: safe and sound. She breathes deeply, another smile settling into place—
And freezes in surprise when Jim Kirk comes into view. Oh. Swallowing thickly, she tries to shove down those old nerves, reminding herself that they're just two officers and nothing more. Friends, possibly, but that's it. That's all they can ever be. So the confusion that takes over her expression at his suggestion is the most honest reaction she could have given. ]
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She's happy. Despite all the pain she's endured in her life, La'an Noonien-Singh can honestly say that she's happy. If that's not a miracle, she's not sure what is.
Of course, she could be happier. Her grief over James is still fresh enough to leave her in tears at night when she takes out the diver's watch to hold and remember, and her conversation with Jim where she'd offered her heart and had it handed back to her... Well, it didn't help matters. She doesn't regret doing it, though. She wants to be someone who takes chances and makes connections, and that was her first step toward becoming that person.
Standing off to the side of the room, she takes in the sight before her, drinking in each joy-filled face illuminated by the soft light of the cloud-like chandelier. This might be the most beautiful sight she's ever seen. Her crew: safe and sound. She breathes deeply, another smile settling into place—
And freezes in surprise when Jim Kirk comes into view. Oh. Swallowing thickly, she tries to shove down those old nerves, reminding herself that they're just two officers and nothing more. Friends, possibly, but that's it. That's all they can ever be. So the confusion that takes over her expression at his suggestion is the most honest reaction she could have given. ]
I'm sorry?