[ Talk about what she's feeling. As if it could ever be that easy. Is she just supposed to let the words out without measuring each one in her mind first? Is she supposed to let her emotions loose with no regard to how she'll be perceived? Even the idea of it makes her balk, though she knows other people manage those very things every day. They're relatively simple acts and yet they've always felt near-impossible to her.
But she does know that he won't judge her. Not once in the time they've known each other has he ever spoken negatively of her genetic heritage, nor has he made her feel like a victim when it came to her experiences with the Gorn. She knows the captain views her as a competent member of his crew, and she has to trust that his opinion of her won't change if she lowers her walls just a little.
A deep breath. In. Out. In. Meditation isn't something she excels at, but breathing exercises are a calming part of her combat training, and she certainly feels as if she's preparing to go into battle. Leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees, she looks everywhere but at the man she would trust with the fate of humanity. ]
Something you aren't supposed to tell someone else... [ She repeats the words slowly, measuring the shape of them on her tongue. Her eyes find the watch resting on the table next to a bowl that had been part of the decor when she moved in, the two pieces incongruous parts of her life. ] That's what hurts the most. That no one can know. I would have told you that first day if I—
[ Sitting up again as if to put physical distance between herself and this heartbreaking secret she's been carrying around for weeks, she takes another ragged deep breath and shakes her head. ] I was instructed not to say anything to anyone.
no subject
But she does know that he won't judge her. Not once in the time they've known each other has he ever spoken negatively of her genetic heritage, nor has he made her feel like a victim when it came to her experiences with the Gorn. She knows the captain views her as a competent member of his crew, and she has to trust that his opinion of her won't change if she lowers her walls just a little.
A deep breath. In. Out. In. Meditation isn't something she excels at, but breathing exercises are a calming part of her combat training, and she certainly feels as if she's preparing to go into battle. Leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees, she looks everywhere but at the man she would trust with the fate of humanity. ]
Something you aren't supposed to tell someone else... [ She repeats the words slowly, measuring the shape of them on her tongue. Her eyes find the watch resting on the table next to a bowl that had been part of the decor when she moved in, the two pieces incongruous parts of her life. ] That's what hurts the most. That no one can know. I would have told you that first day if I—
[ Sitting up again as if to put physical distance between herself and this heartbreaking secret she's been carrying around for weeks, she takes another ragged deep breath and shakes her head. ] I was instructed not to say anything to anyone.