[ She falls apart and he holds her together. His words hurt as much as they heal. His arms keep the broken parts of her from scattering across the floor, and she clings to him because this is the only thing that makes sense anymore. Control of her mind and body slips through her fingers as they clutch at the fabric of his uniform, the rich gold slowly being stained by the grime and dried blood covering her own. 

Time blurs again and she doesn't know whether it's minutes or hours that pass. All she knows is that, somehow, she finally knows what it's like to have the arms of James Kirk wrapped around her. If only she could properly appreciate the strength and warmth of them or the way they make her feel safe and protected. It's wrong, she knows. He didn't sign up for this. He has no reason to help her like this. But still, she doesn't push him away, not even when the sobs finally calm to little more than ragged breaths and intermittent trembles. ]

I lied. [ Her voice is rough, the syllables pulled over the broken glass of her throat, but it's the words themselves that hurt most of all. ] I lied to them.

[ She should step away, put distance between them, and keep this truth to herself. He doesn't deserve to be burdened with all her secrets. But she stays where she is, letting him hold a little more of her weight, and the confession continues. ] I told them we could all make it if they just did what I said, but I knew we wouldn't. I knew they would die. Painfully. Horribly. So afraid... I knew I couldn't save them all and I lied.