[ She's never had a friend who she can have casual physical interactions with. Even Una only gets an exceptionally rare hug, while everyone else is kept at a distance, an invisible barrier between her and each person who might otherwise be willing to offer a hug or a hand to hold. And suddenly, it's what she wants more than anything. To have someone she can hold on to when everything hurts; someone she can let see her when everything hurts.
That's why she only struggles for a few moments before nodding her acceptance of both the idea and his offer. And as soon as she's agreed, it becomes easier to let him see past that last little bit of armor — she's exhausted, yes, but she's also scared, which is ridiculous when she knows she's safe here. This is the Enterprise. She's home, and home is safe. So why is she still terrified of closing her eyes and letting her guard down?
Trauma. It's the answer to just about every question about her that begins with why. ]
Please stay. I keep— [ She struggles to find the words, not wanting to show just how broken she is and then acknowledging that's exactly what she should do right now. Lifting a hand, she presses the heel of it to her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut. ] I keep expecting to see them in the corners.
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That's why she only struggles for a few moments before nodding her acceptance of both the idea and his offer. And as soon as she's agreed, it becomes easier to let him see past that last little bit of armor — she's exhausted, yes, but she's also scared, which is ridiculous when she knows she's safe here. This is the Enterprise. She's home, and home is safe. So why is she still terrified of closing her eyes and letting her guard down?
Trauma. It's the answer to just about every question about her that begins with why. ]
Please stay. I keep— [ She struggles to find the words, not wanting to show just how broken she is and then acknowledging that's exactly what she should do right now. Lifting a hand, she presses the heel of it to her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut. ] I keep expecting to see them in the corners.