[ She wishes she could go back in time again to when they were laughing and smiling together in sickbay. Everything was easier then, even with the crushing weight of what could have been and nearly was. She wants to feel that brush of happiness again, hold it close to etch its memory on her heart. But there is no going back, and she has to face the present just like always. ]

Captain Pike trusted me from the moment he first met me. He trusted my instincts, my expertise. [ There's something in speaking about Chris that has a calming effect on her, a tiny amount of tension easing from her muscles as fondness again threads through her words. ] Even when I kept information from him due to my own distrust, he offered me a commission on the Enterprise. Because of that, this ship has become my home, and her crew, my family. They're the first I've had in a very long time.

[ He'll need to be told about that too. Another peek behind the curtain of what makes her tick. Another chapter in the tragic history of La'an Noonien-Singh. Another opportunity for his opinion of her to change, though she's not as worried about him seeing her as a victim. Surely, he's seen enough to know that she's fully capable despite her past trauma. ]