i tried to tie my heart down, board up all the windows(♫)
[ Three months. The last time she'd been stuck in an alternate timeline, she'd been there for three days, but she's been on this Earth that isn't hers for three months now and she's beginning to reach her limit. Each new morning brings a little less hope that she'll find her way home, and she's struggling with more loneliness than she's ever felt in her life.
The explanation for how she got here seems simple enough on the surface. A transporter accident during an ion storm, when they'd been evacuating a damaged ship and she'd been the last left aboard. She'd known it was risky to linger, that transporter activity ranged from unreliable to impossible during the thick of a storm, but so long as the computer read life signs aboard, she'd insisted on finding them. It's not a decision she regrets, but she is getting rather tired of her good deeds being rewarded this way.
With no other recourse, she'd sought help from Starfleet. Only a handful of high-ranking personnel are aware of her situation, their teams working around the clock to find a solution to her predicament — until the attack. The distress call from Vulcan changes everything. As a fully capable member of Starfleet, even an alternate timeline's Starfleet, she insists on joining the effort, boarding one of many shuttles headed toward the waiting ships. She'd gone where she was told, and the Universe laughed at her again.
The USS Enterprise, captained by Christopher Pike. But not her Christopher Pike. And the people on the bridge whose names she recognizes aren't hers either. They don't even look the same, which just adds insult to injury and makes everything more difficult. But she does her job, following orders and keeping her head down while they fight an enemy she's beginning to become quite familiar with.
And somehow, they pull through. It seems that no matter the universe, the Enterprise is built to survive. And perhaps she is meant to always see one James Tiberius Kirk at her helm. That's certainly the pattern La'an is finding with these alternate timelines...
With the state of the ship, it's going to take them a while to limp their way to the nearest Starbase for repairs, and La'an knows she won't be able to avoid her problem forever. Just as she had addressed things head-on during the incident with the subspace fold, she feels the need to do so again now before something beyond her control forces her hand. So she heads for the ready room, weaving her way through a crew filled with exuberant joy from the thrill of surviving. ]
[ They're alive. Somehow, through all of it, through Nero, through Spock through fucking black holes and warp cores and him in the Captain's chair, they're alive and Earth is still alive and they're here. If anyone asks, he'll say he never had any doubt, that he knew his plan would work, that of course they made it--but the reality is that he was flying by the seat of his goddamn pants and a whole lot of hope.
But they're alive.
His girl is injured, limping on her last leg without a warp core to push her, bones and body strained by her near experience with a black hole, and so now that they're all alive the gift they've been given is time. Time to make their way to a Starbase. Time to heal their wounds, mourn their dead. Time to sit with what's happened and what it means.
Thing is though--Jim's not sure exactly how much of a gift time actually is, and thinking about things is the last thing he wants to do. There are too many things that could push in; too many regrets, too many what ifs. The knowledge of the loss of a planet, the loss of their cadet class, how fucking close they were to--
--right. It's best not to think, so he keeps himself busy. And while people are still celebrating around him, Jim slips into the ready room, and into the chair Pike should be sitting in, and for a second he lets his head fall into his hands. It's just a second, one moment to breathe, to remind himself that they're alive and they did it. Pike's okay. The Enterprise is okay. Earth is okay.
If he says it enough, maybe he'll stop feeling like the pieces of him are being pulled apart; kinetic energy on the precipice of action, unsure which way it'll fall.
It's just a moment, but it's enough that he doesn't quite notice when the ready room doors slip open and one La'an Noonien-Singh slips in. At her first footfall, his head comes up and it's a half beat before the Confident Captain veneer slips into place, smile growing wide and assured, eyebrow arching up in curiosity.
He leans back in the chair, unabashedly looking her up and down, and his grin widens a hair more, eyes an impossible blue as they meet hers again ]
It's Lieutenant, right? I don't know if we've actually met.
[ La'an isn't prepared for what awaits her on the other side of that door. The man sitting there wears an unfamiliar face, but the smile he gives her and the look in his eyes — she knows those in the depths of her soul. She would recognize that mask he wears in any universe, and it changes everything she'd been planning to say.
Taking a deep breath, she straightens her spine and steps closer, expression hesitant as she comes to a natural parade rest. This is the second time she's had to sell a crazy story to a Captain James Kirk and it's hard to keep from losing her cool about it. ]
No, we haven't. [ Shit. She'd had something prepared, but now that the moment's here, she can't remember what she'd so carefully planned. So, after a moment of scrambling for what to say next, she decides to throw caution out the airlock and just say it. Crossing her arms, her tone turns deadly serious as she dives in headfirst. ] Sir, I need to tell you something that is highly classified and cannot go beyond this room.
[ Of all the things Jim expected to hear from his mysterious visitor (you're a hero, Captain, thanks for saving us or I knew your father back on the Kelvin or even have you considered a way I could thank you for your service--), a request for confidential information wasn't anywhere on the list.
Or, at least, the request that he keep information confidential for her.
His second eyebrow joins the first and he shifts in the chair, less of a lounge like a hedonistic oversized housecat and something more like the man who actually got them through the past twenty four hours. He's interested, and he won't deny it--she has his full attention ]
Alright. This stays between us then. Maybe we should start with a name?
[ There it is. The weight of his attention lands on her and she welcomes that familiar feeling. So much of this day has been painful, all the death and suffering weighing on her as heavily as the loneliness of being on this ship that is supposed to be her home but isn't. But this part of him is the same and it's precisely what she needs to bolster her strength and continue moving forward. ]
Officially, my record says my name is La'an Singh. I'm a lieutenant in Operations, specializing in Security... and anything more than that is severely restricted. Not because I'm some sort of specialist or spy or any of the other usual reasons, but because I'm not from here.
[ It's funny how such a simple phrase can be so life-changing. I'm not from here. Suddenly, she can breathe a little easier with those words out in the universe. He knows now, and with him, she won't have to hide. Maybe she shouldn't be putting this on him, especially not now, but... If she can get him to trust her, then maybe he'll allow her to help him when he needs it most. She's heard about his honestly ridiculously sudden promotion, and anyone who would say they're not struggling with such a massive life change would be lying to themselves. ]
My name is La'an Noonien-Singh, and I am from a different timeline. One where Christopher Pike still captains this ship, and where I have served as Chief of Security for the past year. Your brother, Sam, is a xenoanthropologist in our Sciences division, and you have just been named the youngest First Officer in Starfleet, serving aboard the Farragut.
[ There is so much to unpack in what she's saying, Jim's brain immediately starts sorting and rejecting various lists. One; Noonien-Singh is not that common of a last name and if she's anything like her ancestor--which is quickly superseded by two; Starfleet apparently knows about her, because she has a rank and specialty and a uniform and an assignment on his ship, which is strange because three; the whole 'I'm not from here' thing (he assumes) doesn't actually happen all that often and now it's happened three damn times in the span of a couple days.
Spock. Nero. La'an.
Also, replacing his earlier number one, there's One; he has a brother? On the Enterprise. A brother who is a xenoanthropologist in Starfleet, serving on the Enterprise. And two; add to the list of there's-apparently-more-than-one-of, Captain Pike who still somehow commands the Enterprise despite it only existing in this Universe for this single voyage.
Having an entire sciences division does in fact imply that she's been flying for a while.
Which brings him to his final point which doesn't get a number because it's so absurd. Excuse him: ]
The Farragut? I can buy youngest First Officer in Starfleet, sure, that actually sounds like me. But on the Farragut?
[ He'll feel bad about insulting the dead in a minute, he's got to get over his incredulity first, thanks. ]
So you're not from the same timeline as Old Spock?
[ look, he'll get a better name for the Vulcan also later, and reflect on the fact that she probably has no idea who he's talking about if she isn't. Right now he's trying to get all of this straight ]
[ His reaction to his alternate self serving aboard the Farragut borders on outrage and is nothing short of ridiculous — which honestly fits him. Both versions of James Tiberius Kirk she's met would have reacted the same way to similarly drastic revelations about themselves in other timelines, and it's almost reassuring to see this version confirming that he is the same man despite the obvious physical differences. She's about to comment on the Farragut being a perfectly respectable post when he tosses out a question that floors her. ]
Old Spock?
[ Is he saying there's another Spock in this time? And that Spock is from another timeline as well? Something in her chest clenches with hope that it might possibly somehow be the Spock she knows and counts as a friend because she desperately needs a friend now and perhaps he might have some idea of how to get her home. Though, the fact that he's in this timeline too does not bode well... ]
I've served with a Spock for the past year on the Enterprise, and he served with Captain Pike for some time before that. But I would need more information to know if it's the same man or not.
[ she's served with Spock on the Enterprise for year, which only confirms his assertion that the ship has been flying for a while. That Pike's been her Captain for a while. If Nero hadn't come here--just how much of their timeline is altered by that damn Romulan?
It doesn't matter though, he earned his spot in the Captain's chair even if it was mostly a rash decision on Pike's part that put it into motion, and maybe it's temporary, but he's already done better than this alternate version of himself (first officer of the Farragut, honestly) and so maybe all the changes aren't terrible.
Once she's asked her question he realizes that yeah, maybe he should have kept his mouth shut about the whole time travel double versions of Spock thing, but he figures it can't stay secret for that long and if she reveals it, he's got the whole she's-from-another-timeline-thing to act as collateral. Besides, she's Starfleet. She'll probably keep it quiet. If that's what Starfleet decides to do.
He shakes his head and elaborates: ]
He's old. From the same origin point as Nero. The singularity of the red matter exploding brought Nero through first and then Spock somehow decades later. I don't even know if he's technically Starfleet anymore; he's an Ambassador. He said we're best friends.
[ A look her direction that shows exactly how he feels about that. Maybe they've found a sort of--working relationship, but he and Spock are not going to be friends ]
Eventually, at least. But that means we've got two alternate timelines converging on this one. Which I think makes things officially complicated.
[ None of what he says makes any sense to La'an, which doesn't exactly chase away that spark of hope, but does threaten to douse it with a good dose of despair. Spock the Ambassador, following in the footsteps of his father. A Spock who is perhaps from decades in her future, and that's if they are, in fact, from the same timeline.
A Spock who is best friends with James T Kirk. That's the one that makes her heart ache. Her James had known Spock as a fellow commanding officer just trying to save his people during a terrible war. And Jim had only just met Spock, their interactions limited and nowhere close to forming those bonds of friendship. But with time...
Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes for a moment, hanging her head as she gathers herself and pushes aside all those emotions that won't serve her now. She can have a meltdown later; she needs to keep her cool right now. ]
Have you had any dealings with the Department of Temporal Investigations? [ Which doesn't exist yet in this timeline, either. She'd checked. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
it's too late now.
no subject
But they're alive.
His girl is injured, limping on her last leg without a warp core to push her, bones and body strained by her near experience with a black hole, and so now that they're all alive the gift they've been given is time. Time to make their way to a Starbase. Time to heal their wounds, mourn their dead. Time to sit with what's happened and what it means.
Thing is though--Jim's not sure exactly how much of a gift time actually is, and thinking about things is the last thing he wants to do. There are too many things that could push in; too many regrets, too many what ifs. The knowledge of the loss of a planet, the loss of their cadet class, how fucking close they were to--
--right. It's best not to think, so he keeps himself busy. And while people are still celebrating around him, Jim slips into the ready room, and into the chair Pike should be sitting in, and for a second he lets his head fall into his hands. It's just a second, one moment to breathe, to remind himself that they're alive and they did it. Pike's okay. The Enterprise is okay. Earth is okay.
If he says it enough, maybe he'll stop feeling like the pieces of him are being pulled apart; kinetic energy on the precipice of action, unsure which way it'll fall.
It's just a moment, but it's enough that he doesn't quite notice when the ready room doors slip open and one La'an Noonien-Singh slips in. At her first footfall, his head comes up and it's a half beat before the Confident Captain veneer slips into place, smile growing wide and assured, eyebrow arching up in curiosity.
He leans back in the chair, unabashedly looking her up and down, and his grin widens a hair more, eyes an impossible blue as they meet hers again ]
It's Lieutenant, right? I don't know if we've actually met.
no subject
Taking a deep breath, she straightens her spine and steps closer, expression hesitant as she comes to a natural parade rest. This is the second time she's had to sell a crazy story to a Captain James Kirk and it's hard to keep from losing her cool about it. ]
No, we haven't. [ Shit. She'd had something prepared, but now that the moment's here, she can't remember what she'd so carefully planned. So, after a moment of scrambling for what to say next, she decides to throw caution out the airlock and just say it. Crossing her arms, her tone turns deadly serious as she dives in headfirst. ] Sir, I need to tell you something that is highly classified and cannot go beyond this room.
no subject
Or, at least, the request that he keep information confidential for her.
His second eyebrow joins the first and he shifts in the chair, less of a lounge like a hedonistic oversized housecat and something more like the man who actually got them through the past twenty four hours. He's interested, and he won't deny it--she has his full attention ]
Alright. This stays between us then. Maybe we should start with a name?
no subject
Officially, my record says my name is La'an Singh. I'm a lieutenant in Operations, specializing in Security... and anything more than that is severely restricted. Not because I'm some sort of specialist or spy or any of the other usual reasons, but because I'm not from here.
[ It's funny how such a simple phrase can be so life-changing. I'm not from here. Suddenly, she can breathe a little easier with those words out in the universe. He knows now, and with him, she won't have to hide. Maybe she shouldn't be putting this on him, especially not now, but... If she can get him to trust her, then maybe he'll allow her to help him when he needs it most. She's heard about his honestly ridiculously sudden promotion, and anyone who would say they're not struggling with such a massive life change would be lying to themselves. ]
My name is La'an Noonien-Singh, and I am from a different timeline. One where Christopher Pike still captains this ship, and where I have served as Chief of Security for the past year. Your brother, Sam, is a xenoanthropologist in our Sciences division, and you have just been named the youngest First Officer in Starfleet, serving aboard the Farragut.
no subject
Spock. Nero. La'an.
Also, replacing his earlier number one, there's One; he has a brother? On the Enterprise. A brother who is a xenoanthropologist in Starfleet, serving on the Enterprise. And two; add to the list of there's-apparently-more-than-one-of, Captain Pike who still somehow commands the Enterprise despite it only existing in this Universe for this single voyage.
Having an entire sciences division does in fact imply that she's been flying for a while.
Which brings him to his final point which doesn't get a number because it's so absurd. Excuse him: ]
The Farragut? I can buy youngest First Officer in Starfleet, sure, that actually sounds like me. But on the Farragut?
[ He'll feel bad about insulting the dead in a minute, he's got to get over his incredulity first, thanks. ]
So you're not from the same timeline as Old Spock?
[ look, he'll get a better name for the Vulcan also later, and reflect on the fact that she probably has no idea who he's talking about if she isn't. Right now he's trying to get all of this straight ]
no subject
Old Spock?
[ Is he saying there's another Spock in this time? And that Spock is from another timeline as well? Something in her chest clenches with hope that it might possibly somehow be the Spock she knows and counts as a friend because she desperately needs a friend now and perhaps he might have some idea of how to get her home. Though, the fact that he's in this timeline too does not bode well... ]
I've served with a Spock for the past year on the Enterprise, and he served with Captain Pike for some time before that. But I would need more information to know if it's the same man or not.
no subject
It doesn't matter though, he earned his spot in the Captain's chair even if it was mostly a rash decision on Pike's part that put it into motion, and maybe it's temporary, but he's already done better than this alternate version of himself (first officer of the Farragut, honestly) and so maybe all the changes aren't terrible.
Once she's asked her question he realizes that yeah, maybe he should have kept his mouth shut about the whole time travel double versions of Spock thing, but he figures it can't stay secret for that long and if she reveals it, he's got the whole she's-from-another-timeline-thing to act as collateral. Besides, she's Starfleet. She'll probably keep it quiet. If that's what Starfleet decides to do.
He shakes his head and elaborates: ]
He's old. From the same origin point as Nero. The singularity of the red matter exploding brought Nero through first and then Spock somehow decades later. I don't even know if he's technically Starfleet anymore; he's an Ambassador. He said we're best friends.
[ A look her direction that shows exactly how he feels about that. Maybe they've found a sort of--working relationship, but he and Spock are not going to be friends ]
Eventually, at least. But that means we've got two alternate timelines converging on this one. Which I think makes things officially complicated.
no subject
A Spock who is best friends with James T Kirk. That's the one that makes her heart ache. Her James had known Spock as a fellow commanding officer just trying to save his people during a terrible war. And Jim had only just met Spock, their interactions limited and nowhere close to forming those bonds of friendship. But with time...
Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes for a moment, hanging her head as she gathers herself and pushes aside all those emotions that won't serve her now. She can have a meltdown later; she needs to keep her cool right now. ]
Have you had any dealings with the Department of Temporal Investigations? [ Which doesn't exist yet in this timeline, either. She'd checked. ]