rescapee | in another time

[ He always has been better at chess than cards. Maybe it's not a surprise the Romulan called his bluff. Not that it matters, when his last thought, before he slips into blackness, is that it's a damn shame he's dying. He can feel La'an's fingers gentle on his hair, hear her voice even as he slides under, and that's not such a bad way to go, really. Not how he'd expected, but then, is it ever?

She'll do it. He has no doubt of that, even as the darkness takes him. He's never met anyone like her. Saving the timeline is small potatoes for La'an Noonien-Singh. And, by God, it was a hell of adventure to have been his last.

Which is why it's so surprising when consciousness returns, along with a glaring light in his eyes and a feeling like something enormous stepped directly on his chest. He coughs, then instantly regrets it as pain washes through him. His face crumples as he squints through the light, unable to roll to his side. That gentle beeping... it sounds like a biobed. He blinks, his eyes focusing, and recognizes the calm, muted ceiling of sickbay. ]

Uh.

[ His voice sounds strange, rusty. ]

What the hell?

[ After so many hours of waiting at his bedside, slumped into a chair as the adrenaline finally dissipated from her system, La'an had actually dozed off for a moment, her head tilting to the side as her body instinctively tried to remain upright while also wanting to give in to the ship's artificial gravity. But as exhausted as she is, that cough is enough to drag her back to full wakefulness in an instant.

Standing, she leans over the bed to be in his easy line of sight, not wanting him to have to move more than necessary. There's shock on her face, and fear, and utter relief. ]

James, it's okay. You're okay. [ Those words are to reassure him, but the next are almost in disbelief. ] You're okay.

[ And as much as she hates it, tears burn at her eyes as her hand gently frames the side of his face, her fingertips brushing across his skin as if he might disappear into the cosmos at any second. ]

[ He blinks as a face moves into view, as his eyes focus and he recognizes her: La'an. There are deep, weary shadows beneath her eyes; she looks tired. And... like she might cry.

Some core-deep reflex jerks awake at that expression on her face, and his lips twitch into a wry, quirking half-curve as he injects as much humor into his voice as possible. It's not much. But it's something. Enough to crinkle the corners of his own eyes, self-deprecating.

He might be lying in a sickbay biobed, but he still has his charm. ]

You know, I didn't actually believe you when you said that before. Guess I should have had more faith.

[ Looking away from her isn't an option, so he just shifts his head a little on the biobed so he can better feel her fingertips at his temple, his cheek, as his expression returns to something more serious, his gaze intent on her even through the faint, foggy distance of the medication. ]

What happened? Are we... is this...

[ None of those are the most important thing. He tries to rally his thoughts, which respond like slow-moving sludge, and prioritizes. ]

Did you do it?

[ That is what she'd said before, isn't it? When he'd been bleeding on the floor and she'd felt the universe trying to fall apart all around her. She hadn't meant to repeat those words, hadn't meant to dredge up a moment that will likely live on in her memory as another pivotal traumatic moment, but it's too late now. Perhaps having this moment to counterbalance the other will help further down the line when she one day eventually returns to therapy.

She smiles at his attempt at humor, though it's small and wavering, but it grows at that oh-so-important question. Carefully, her free hand takes hold of his, wrapping her fingers around his so she can give them a soft squeeze. ]

We did it. Welcome to my timeline.

[ She's probably made a huge mess of things by bringing him here, possibly broken a dozen or so regulations, but she doesn't a damn about any of that. They saved the future of humanity, and she saved him. For her, those two facts are all that matter. ]

How are you feeling?

Knew you had it covered.

[ Her hand is so small in his, but right now, it's a hell of a lot stronger. He squeezes back, wishing it didn't feel so damn weak. ]

Like I got shot in the chest. The good news is I'm pretty sure I'm not dying anymore.

[ Because... she'd saved him. La'an, who'd spent the previous days reminding him of archaic rules and regulations, who'd been so adamant about saving the timeline, had in the end flouted it all and chanced everything to bring him here.

He rolls his head enough to look around, then fixes his eyes back on her. ]

Nice to see sickbay hasn't changed much.

[ One thing everyone eventually learns about La'an Noonien-Singh is that she's a stickler for regulations... until it comes to the safety of those she cares about. In some cases, it's a singular person who has made their indelible mark upon her, and at other times it's the entire crew of a ship depending on her to keep them safe. She hadn't been able to protect her family or any of the other colonists on the Puget Sound, so she dedicated her life to protecting others in whatever way necessary. Including, it seems, bending the laws of temporal mechanics.

It should seem ridiculous that she's so attached to this man after just a few short days together. It makes absolutely no sense... but it feels right. She has to hope her instincts aren't betraying her in that. ]

I guess some things are the same across timelines. [ Her own gaze moves down to his chest, the standard sickbay shirt covering any sign of his wound, but she forces her eyes back up after a moment. Better to focus on what is than what if. ] You'll probably see quite a few familiar faces here, too. Not the other you, though — he's assigned to another ship.

I'm not? I mean, he's not?

[ He knew that, didn't he? That's right: she said she hadn't met him. If they were on the same ship, she'd have had a different answer. After all, this Jim Kirk is a captain... or a bridge officer, at least, too, isn't he?

But he moves past that thought in a second as her glance tracks down over his chest. Jim lifts their linked hands, sets her palm gently over his own heart, then covers the back of her fingers with his own.

It hurts. He just got shot there. But it feels good, too. ]

La'an.

[ He waits until she meets his glance again, his own intent and serious, utterly sincere. ]

Thank you.

[ She can feel his heart beating beneath her palm, the faint sensation one of the most wonderful she's ever experienced. The bullet had just barely missed that most vital organ, grazing his heart rather than fully puncturing it, and if it had been even a millimeter closer...

It hurts to meet his gaze, her chest tightening painfully at the look in his eyes. She'd nearly lost him, and now she has to face those emotions as well as her growing affection toward him. Rushing out that door almost seems like a viable option except that she'd rather cut off her own hand right now than leave his side. ]

I couldn't leave you there. [ Her voice just barely squeezes out, cracks woven through the words from a fresh surge of tears she skillfully manages to suppress. ] I didn't know if this would work, but I had to try. You deserved to see that things could be better.

[ He's a lot less sure than she is that he deserves this, but he's never been one to pass up an opportunity when it arises. And, besides – ]

I have to admit, I'm pretty curious about this future of yours.

[ His smile is small but warm as he curls his fingers around hers, as he tries not to think about the fact that he's still here, but his friends, his family, even his ship – all of them are gone. They never even existed.

Her eyes are dark and a little glossy, which is another incredible thing: La'an Noonien-Singh, brought almost to tears, because of him. He lets go of her hand, reaching up to curve his fingers at her cheek, a touch he hadn't even attempted those short hours ago when he'd kissed her on the sidewalk, in the fresh winter air. His smile curves again, even as he watches her with understanding in his eyes. ]

Bet we've got a lot to explain to your Captain, huh?

[ In the hours since they'd arrived back in the future, she's wondered countless times if he might come to regret coming to her time. Losing everyone he knows is a pain she understands intimately, having carried a similar pain for over half her life. But perhaps he can forge new relationships with the versions of those people in this time, including Sam, the brother he'd lost. If she had a chance to get her brother back, even a different version of him... There would be nothing in the universe that could stop her from taking it.

Leaning her cheek into his touch the same way he had hers, she lets her eyes close for a moment, savoring the feeling of his fingers on her skin. How long has it been since someone touched her like this? Since she trusted someone enough to allow them to touch her this way? It feels like a lifetime, maybe longer. ]

I gave Captain Pike a very brief summary of the situation, but he'll be expecting something more comprehensive when you're up to it. [ Her expression relaxes slightly as she speaks, her own words finally sinking in. This is really happening. Affection and admiration color her next words, her respect for the captain shining through the exhaustion that clings to her. ] He's a good man. He'll help us figure everything out.

He better be, if he's commanding my ship.

[ The loss of Enterprise is an open, confused pain, aching right alongside the healing gunshot wound in his chest. Being her commander is – had been – everything to him.

At least she still exists in this reality. His smile flickers, and he runs the pad of his thumb over La'an's cheekbone before letting his hand fall back to the bedside.

There's something he needs to ask. The mix of uncertainty and hope is almost as heady as whatever painkillers they're pumping through him, and he takes a deep breath, ignoring the way the pain in his chest spikes. ]

And, you said – Sam. Is he... is he here? Somewhere?

[ My ship. If he says that around the captain... Well, she's actually not sure how Chris might react to it. He might find the way James cares for the ship endearing. Hell, it might even be something for them to bond over, given how many of the bridge crew she'd recognized in the other timeline. If Chris sees how much James cares, that could shape the entire conversation for the better.

She smiles in amusement, though it shifts into something more pained when he asks that heartbreaking question. Keeping her hand where it still rests on his chest over his miraculously beating heart, she lowers herself back into the chair at his bedside. ]

He's our xenoanthropologist. He has a lab full of artifacts from all sorts of species, and he'll talk your ear off about every one of them if you let him. [ Needing to be touching him every way she can, she moves her other hand to his arm, rubbing her thumb over his skin just to reassure herself he's still there. ] Once we figure out how to handle this, you can see him. I've made sure no one outside the medical staff and the captain are aware of your presence here, so he won't rush in here panicked about his pain in the ass little brother. [ Her amusement returns. ] His words, not mine.

[ A xenoanthropologist. Not a soldier. He can't help the incredulous wonder that crosses over his face, or the smile that comes as her hand curves over his arm. He can't touch her, lying like this, not without moving more than is probably advised by the doctors, but she seems to be taking care of that for him. ]

He loves me, really.

[ Loved. And this Sam Kirk, whoever he is, isn't really his brother, but – hell, he's not going to pass up a second chance.

Nor is he going to pass up the chance to try and make her smile, to feed into that faint amusement until she gives in. ]

You're being pretty nice to me. It's almost enough to make me want to almost die all over again.

[ The vivid memory of their conversation at the hotel replays through her mind as she puts those pieces together. If James was a soldier, then Sam likely had been, as well, but neither of the Kirk brothers is in that role in her timeline. The both of them are explorers in their own right, excited to forge new relationships and make incredible discoveries across the galaxy. This is what she'd wanted him to see. That his brother is safe and living a peaceful, if occasionally dangerous, life doing what he loves.

His attempt at humor succeeds; she's grinning the next moment and shaking her head, her long ponytail swaying down her back. This man is completely ridiculous, and for some reason, she likes that about him. ]

You are such an asshole. There are much easier ways to get someone to be nice to you.

[ She grins, and he takes it as the victory it is, his own smile flashing out stronger than before, crinkling up the lines at the corners of his eyes. ]

Where's the fun in easy?

[ The best he can do without reaching for her is to set his hand over hers on his chest once more, as he contemplates exactly how much he wants to reach for her. If he'd died, he'd have died regretting that he hadn't gone after her down that hotel room hall, when he'd heard her turn away.

Not much he can do about it now, when every shift he makes results in a wince of discomfort or outright pain. But it's tolerable, which is good, because there's a hell of a lot for them to do. ]

Look, I don't want your Captain to have to wait on me. I'm ready. We can have that, uh, comprehensive chat any time.

[ Even as his smile fades from his lips, it hangs around his eyes, warm. ] Besides, I'm sure the Enterprise needs you. You've probably got more important things to do than hang around a sickbed all day.

[ The way his fingers curl around hers probably gives up his own wishes, though – the last thing he wants is for her to go. ]

[ He smiles so much more easily than she does, and she loves each and every one of them for the way the expression changes his face entirely. When he smiles, really smiles, that weight is lifted from him and he no longer seems like a battle-worn soldier. Suddenly, he's just a terribly charming man with a silly sense of humor and a strong dedication to what he deems as right. It's a good look on him. She hopes he's able to wear it more often now.

And it doesn't escape her notice how much she has smiled with him in the last few days. Without the shadow of judgment for her ancestor or tragic past, she's felt freer with him than she has with just about anyone. Yes, there are members of the Enterprise crew who have earned that level of trust from her, but it took months whereas with him it took only days. He'd stepped right past her walls without her even noticing, and now she can't imagine him ever being on the other side of them again. ]

I've trained my team well. They can handle things without me for a while longer. [ Between her tone and expression, it's clear just how proud she is of the crew under her leadership. Besides, she doesn't want to go anywhere either. Except she'll have to, just for a short time. ]

But if you're really up to it, I'll let Captain Pike know. I've already spoken with Nurse Chapel and Dr. M'Benga about moving you to a slightly more private area for our discussion, so they'll get you situated while I take care of a few things.

[ Like changing out of these 21st century clothes. His blood is still on her sleeve, dried and barely visible on the black fabric, but she'd felt the immense weight of it there every second she waited for him to wake up. ]

I bet you have.

[ Over the last few days, he's developed a strong sense of admiration for La'an: she's capable, competent, and smart, all things he finds completely irresistible. She's gorgeous, too, but that doesn't have much to do with how certain he is that she'd taught her team well. It's really just more of an added bonus, when he thinks about how she'd showed up on his bridge, out of everywhere in the timestream she could have wound up.

Regardless of everything else, everything he'll have to come to terms with, he can count himself lucky for that. ]

Don't worry about me. Talking, I can handle. And I'd rather wind up on your captain's good side, if at all possible.

[ He runs the pad of his thumb over her knuckles and gives her a reassuring smile. ]

And I promise to behave for your Nurse Chapel and Doctor M'Benga. I really ought to be thanking them, anyway.

[ She's the one counting herself lucky for ending up in a timeline with him on the bridge of the Enterprise. What she'd told him before wasn't just flattery; she really couldn't have completed the mission without him. And for him to be here now... With as complicated as things are likely to be going forward, she doesn't have a single regret within her. ]

So long as you're yourself with him, I honestly don't think you'll have any trouble with the captain. As for Chapel and M'Benga... [ She gives him a playfully stern look, barely able to hold back her smile for proper effect. ] They're both war veterans and fully capable of handling whatever you throw at them. Which is not, by the way, a challenge.

[ Yes, that last bit was necessary. She's met him before. ]

[ He affects hurt astonishment as best he can at that, eyebrows pushing up toward his hairline, eyes wide as he takes in her mock sternness. ]

Wow. Where's the trust?

[ Would he have ever believed that this warm, playful woman could be one and the same with the security chief on a mission who'd arrived on his bridge if he hadn't lived through the last few days with her? People can be difficult for me, she'd said, but from where he's standing – well, laying – it's those people who are the ones missing out.

For himself, he's fascinated with each new side of her. Jim lifts her hand from his chest and raises it so he can press a kiss to her knuckles, gentle and lingering, before he finally lets her go. ]

Go ahead. I'll be right here when you get back. Well – I'll be wherever Chapel and M'Benga put me. Hopefully not in an airlock, but I guess that all depends on just what I do decide to throw at them.

[ She'd once told Una that she doesn't care what other people think of her. In truth, it's the exact opposite. For her entire life, she's worried what others think of her. Augment. Monster. Victim. She's been something to be feared and someone to be pitied, but so rarely someone to be loved. What she's feeling now is a first for her — a true connection with someone who might actually return those feelings. It's exhilarating and completely terrifying.

But she trusts him. With every fiber of her being, she trusts this man, which is a marvel in and of itself.

It's impossible to hide how that simple kiss affects her, her demeanor changing to almost nervous and a bit flustered, which is truly ridiculous. She's faced the Gorn multiple times and this is nothing compared to that. There is no reason whatsoever to be nervous with James Kirk. But still, she laughs at his antics, shaking her head as she stands. ]

If you do end up in an airlock, I won't be the least bit surprised. [ There's a gentle teasing to her words, and she gives his arm a soft squeeze before finally stepping back from the bed. ] I'll be back soon.

Fair enough.

[ He says it cheerfully, then nods at her last statement, tosses her a wink.

The thing is, all of this teasing, it's not just to make her feel better – though that's definitely a large factor. It makes himself feel better, too. If he's smiling, if he's cracking jokes, if he's flirting, it couldn't have been all that serious a wound, right?

Except he knows it was. He'd have been dead, if not for her. Maybe he had been dead, even if only for a few moments. It's enough to get into a guy's head and really start messing things up in there.

She hasn't been gone for a whole thirty seconds before a willowy winter-blonde woman in a white nurse's uniform comes briskly in. Something about the way her lips twitch makes him think she's holding back a grin – that, and the look of pure delighted curiosity in her eyes.

For his part, Jim holds up a hand, gives her a wry smile back. ]

Uh, hi.

[ Leaving sickbay takes every ounce of willpower La'an has spent years cultivating. Each step leading away from James feels like a mile, and a ball of dread begins building inside her with every passing minute. She hurries back to her quarters, immediately tossing aside the jacket she'd removed hours earlier and tugging off the heavy boots. They thud onto the floor, the sound hideously loud in the quiet room, and then—

La'an Noonien-Singh, I'm Agent Ymalay from the Department of Temporal Investigations.

What follows is a trying, emotionally-wrought conversation with one of the most infuriating people La'an has ever met. The woman thanks her for completing the mission and protecting the timeline, but in the next breath, she very properly tells her off for introducing another James Kirk to it. Apparently, the damage is not entirely irreparable, so he'll be allowed to remain, but La'an should 'count herself lucky' that there won't be further repercussions.

You sent me back to protect a mass murderer? I had to kill to protect him. I had to watch my fr—

But in typical bureaucratic fashion, the agent denies the accusation, twisting words to fit her needs. By the end of the conversation, if it can be called that, the usually stoic and composed chief of security is an emotional wreck, everything in her bursting out uncontrollably. The sobs leave her feeling wrung out and empty, her throat raw from the heaving cries, but still she pulls herself up off the couch. There are still things she needs to attend to, including a meeting with a captain who will likely have more questions than she has answers. ]

Hi. [ Chapel's barely-restrained grin is going absolutely nowhere as she comes up to the side of the biobed, scanner out and whirring gently as she waves it over his chest. ] So...

[ No one should be able to put so much sly interest into a single syllable. ] How're you feeling?

[ He submits to her scans and ministrations, answers her questions honestly – none of which, he's sure, are the ones she's dying to ask, but she's perfectly professional as she reviews his vitals and makes a note in his file, as she supervises his transference onto a gurney so he can be moved into that more private room La'an had mentioned. He points out that he can probably walk; she points out that if he tries, and falls, and whacks his head, she might have to try to bring him back to life again, which effectively ends any further argument from him.

Best of all, she stays with him, once he's settled in the room, just to keep him company. She's kind and warm and funny, and he likes her pretty much immediately, despite his amusement at the questions she so clearly wants to be asking. It's nice to have someone there, though his glance returns again and again to the door, watching for La'an to come back through it. ]

[ After donning her proper uniform and doing her best to hide all physical evidence of her minor emotional breakdown, she speaks with the captain. He's tied up with something at that precise moment, but he'll meet with them shortly. She sends him the room James has been moved to, that information courtesy of Chapel via a message on her PADD, and then she says screw it to anything else that might possibly try to pull her attention away.

With her PADD in hand, she heads back across the ship to Sickbay, the private recovery room just off the main facility. That seed of dread has bloomed in her gut and she feels almost sick with it, her steps faltering as she reaches his room. Pressing her roiling emotions back down where they belong, she takes a deep breath and opens the door, the whooshing sound feeling like a knife twisting in her stomach.

Honestly, she probably looks as terrible as she feels. She can tell that she's doing an awful job of hiding her exhaustion, and even Christine will be able to tell that her mood is off. Her usual professional demeanor can only explain so much of how close-off she's made herself, and how flat her voice sounds. It would have been better to put on an act but she just doesn't have the energy for it anymore. ]

Thank you for your assistance, Nurse Chapel. May we have some time alone? Captain Pike will be joining us shortly, and there are some things I need to discuss with Captain Kirk before he arrives.

[ She thanks the stars that her friend doesn't question her. About any of it. ]

[ Chapel goes, not without a quick, incisive glance at him. He doesn't need it. La'an had been smiling when she left; now she looks like she's been hollowed out, and there's a redness to her eyes he doesn't like.

Once the door closes and they're alone, he reaches a hand to her, eyebrows drawing together in consternation. ]

La'an. What happened?

[ Did her captain wind up disappointing her with his reaction? Did he dress her down for the unspeakable crime of saving not only his life, but this whole damn timeline?

Damn this biobed and his injury; he can't even push himself up to sitting. The best he can do is hope she takes his hand and talks to him. ]

What's wrong?

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